Conversation 3: Connecting Identity and Power
How do we navigate privilege and power when we share leadership?
Welcome back to our series: The 8 Conversations for Shared Leadership. As a reminder: Each part includes a set of questions that I recommend asking yourself first and then talking about with your co-leaders.
In Conversation 2, we worked through our definitions of leadership.
Now let’s delve into how our social identities impact how we experience privilege and power differently on teams.
Conversation 3 – Connecting Identity and Power
Years ago, I co-led an organization with a committed white cisgender man who had a strong community organizing background. Although we didn’t know each other prior to working together, we grew to trust and respect one another deeply.
However, I sometimes found myself resentful of how much I felt like I had to prove myself while he, from my observations, showed little need to do so. I was so self-conscious in rooms with power, and he was so relaxed.
Once, I remember going to a meeting together with a potential funder. My colleague wore jeans, and I wore an outfit I spent an hour picking out. Even then, the program officer – a Black cisgender male – only made eye contact with my colleague. Even when I asked questions, the person answered by looking only at the white guy. I was deflated after that meeting. And later, when we talked about it, I was shocked when my colleague said he hadn’t noticed at all how I’d been ignored.
To truly feel seen (and to see others, too) – it’s crucial that we proactively acknowledge our identities, and how these bolster or limit our social power. I describe privilege as unearned benefits based on identity. Most, if not all of us, have benefits in some way. To learn more about how we at Freedom Lifted think about identity, I invite you to enroll in our (free) Power Flower online course.
The power our identities carry impacts how we show up at work. This means we need to talk honestly about how gender, race, class, and other identities affect our sense of self-efficacy, the perceptions of stakeholders, and the barriers we do or don’t face when assuming leadership roles.
When we’re clear about our identities and their relationship to social and internal power, we increase our capacity to have tough conversations about the push and pull of shared leadership.
I invite you to use these starter prompts to inspire and expand the conversations within your team:
How do my identities impact my feelings of belonging?
When do I feel powerful at work?
When do I give away my power?
How do my identities influence the career moves I consider or avoid?
What biases do I hold that may be barriers to sharing power?
I suggest we ask these questions first of ourselves and then share our responses with our co-leaders.
Up next is Conversation 4: Uncovering Communication Styles.
Additional Resources:
To unpack the relationship between your identities and your experience with shared power, I invite you to enroll in Freedom Lifted’s {FREE} Power Flower online course. You can work through the whole course in an hour or less! (And you can do it on your own OR with your team.)
To learn how I built trust with my white, male colleague, Brian Brady, despite our different social identities and experiences, I invite you to listen to our conversation on the Shared Power Podcast: Episode 5 (includes transcripts). Alternatively, you can watch our chat on YouTube. Brian is NOT the person who wore jeans to the meeting – but we still had so many things to work through together!
Notes:
Download the infographic of the 8 essential conversations to share with co-leaders.
Listen to The Shared Power Podcast to learn more about the conversations, why I believe they are key to advancing justice, and ways to apply them to our work and movements.
Learn more about my facilitation offerings based on the eight conversations.
Honesty and vulnerability within our shared power relationships are just as important as our own experiences of personal transformation. That’s why I created the 8 Conversations For Shared Leadership series. I guide you through critical topics of conversation to engage co-leaders and help you build effective, sustainable, and joyful shared leadership models for communication.